Book Review: Dial M For Merde- Stephen Clarke

Having been a keen reader of Stephen Clarke's "Merde" series so far, I felt obligated, yet excited to read the latest installment in the series. Clarke's fast paced, first-person tales of travel and tedium, centred around the character of Paul West entertained, enthralled, and humoured me; from his bureaucratic cock-ups in Paris, to his relationship break-downs in London, and the charms of America. But can the same be said for his new tale?

Unfortunately not, I say. While the book still has the occassional titter about it, it has nothing compared to the "Oh-ho-ho, laugh-till-the-brioche-explodes-from-your-belly" roars of hilarity from the previous novels. Whilst there were certain sexual elements in the other books, the first quarter of the book seems to be as sexxed up as a Labour Party dossier with a foreword by Jordan. And trust me, when an 18 year old boy with "raging hormones" says that a book has too much sex in it, it really DOES have too much sex. All of this intercourse stems from Paul's travels through France with his girlfriend, Gloria Monday, otherwise known as "M", as she scours the French coasts for signs of endangered species of fish, in her role as ecologist and scientist. This rather mundane plot element is made up for by the fact that Paul has to cater for his friend's wedding, as she attempts to marry into an aristocratic family who look down their noses more than the Jolly Green Giant at a playgroup.

But all is not as it seems. The tale goes from sex, sun, and ceremonies to murder and mystery in the blink of an eye. As M heads on an excursion of her own to Marseille to meet some other ecologists, an undercover female police officer in a low cut, backless dress [yes, that's right! More sex!] lets Paul know that M isn't a scientist at all. There is only one big fish she cares for- the President of France. And she wants to see his head on a silver platter.

From then on in, Paul heads off on a wild goose chase, trying to balance being a "trateur" [caterer] for his friend, and a "traitre" [traitor] to his assassin of a girlfriend, whilst also cramming in "ambassador for the British nation" into the mix.

But will M get caught? Will Elodie [Paul's engaged friend] get married in time to reap a financial tradition held by the pompous family? Will England assist France like the allies that they have come to be!?



...In all honesty, you may not ever find out. The book seems pretty dry and dull compared to the previous novels, and you'd be forgiven for losing interest, given the fact that the first half is probably as interesting as Stephen Hawking's talking computer conveying the taste of a Ryvita biscuit.

I'd give the book 5/10, due to the small smatterings of laughter and the callbacks to the previous tales. Though I wouldn't really recommend it. My take on it in two words? Sacre bleurgh.

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Healthcare Hypocrisy

"You dirty thieves! You dirty thieves! You dirty thieves!"

How things have changed since Obama's election over a year ago. A public, which, then, could never be more together, has slowly turned into a public that could never be more apart. An electorate which, then, voted Obama in for healthcare reform, has silently been wishing to impeach him on the same issue. A country, which, then, was proud to be making history, has become a country of regret.

Obama, to Americans, was an inspiration, a whirlwind, and a star. But recently, views have changed. Rather unfairly, in my opinion, Americans are turning their back on the president, and- even more importantly- the health care reform that was a key point in the election. Even in Texas, where many children are unprotected by the existing health insurance scheme, as well as the rest of the country, where insurance companies are well renowned for turning down claims, there is high opposition for a universal healthcare system, which could, potentially, save the lives of millions.

There are various points that those in denial of the proposal are using to back up their staunch opposition. One of these, is the fact that they see the NHS (which has been used as a big example) as a shambolic excuse for a healthcare system. Although we Brits do complain about the National Health Service, I think we can all admit that we are extremely lucky to have it; instead of being in a position of having to pay extra, and letting capitalism decide our health. I'll admit that it's not perfect- but what is? Even those with private healthcare have a lot to complain about, and there are various NHS sucess stories.

Americans (as you may see from the quote at the start of the post) do not want to have their money taken from their wages. Although this is extremely understandable in the current economic climate, I'm going to end this post with one question to you:

If you're so opposed to paying for a service that'd help millions; why are you not so concerned about paying for an illegal war that kills millions?

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