The Popcorn Post: A Few Short Reviews [Seeking A Friend for the End of the World; I Give it a Year; Warm Bodies]

Seeking A Friend for the End of the World

I found Seeking A Friend for the End of the World to be an incredibly charming movie, as one would expect of a flick featuring the talents of Steve Carrell and Kiera Knightley. The film was quite refreshing in that it didn't really spend too much time attempting to suspend the disbelief around the whole concept of the world ending, and carried on in a "look, you're either with this all the way, or you might as well just turn it off now" sort of way. It was also quite nice to have an end-of-the-world movie that doesn't concentrate on overly-muscular males attempting to subvert the universe's impending doom, while everyone else runs around disobeying laws left, right, and centre because the consequences won't matter. At the heart of it, this movie depicts what the everyman would do at the end of the world.

As the end of the world is quite a delicate matter, this movie isn't exactly a laugh-a-minute humourfest, but does well to be eloquently charming at just the right times, complimenting the down-to-earth nature of the movie as a whole.

In essence, if you like an alternative look at things, and you're a bit of a sucker for a sob-story, I recommend Seeking A Friend for the End of the World. Kiera Knightley and Steve Carrell work well together, even if some of the writing does let them down at points, but the film is rather beautiful nonetheless.

7/10

I Give it a Year

I Give It A Year is just one of many wedding-themed rom-coms to have been churned out recently. Unfortunately [and, again, following the trend set by several movies of late], the movie is about as hilarious as taking seven punches to the face from Mike Tyson.

Worryingly, trailers and promotional materials describe the film as being the funniest British movie to be released in a long while - and if this is the case, it might be time for every single active comedy writer in Britain to go home and sit with the lights off to think about the sheer misery that they're creating. This would hopefully include Stephen Merchant, who reaches a whole new level of unfunny "annoyingness" with his appearances in this flick. In fact, none of the cast members shine in the movie, and most seem to be thoroughly forgettable [that's if you ever knew them in the first place].

Unfortunately, the actors aren't helped at all by the writing, which fails to entertain, and could only be described as "funny" by someone who has lived under a rock for the past decade. The lack of humour is not made up for by any discernible plot, and five minutes into the movie, you'll probably be able to guess the ending - and the producers would have done everyone a favour by condensing the 1 hour and 47 minute waste of film into just a 5 minute short.

I Give It A Year? I wouldn't give it 10 seconds.

2/10

Warm Bodies

As a result of relentless advertisement on the television, I figured I'd watch Warm Bodies, which appeared to be a zombie rom-com with a heart. The film features Nicholas Hoult [who you might just recognise from his roles in About A Boy and Skins, despite the thick layers of zombie make-up], and Theresa Palmer.

Hoult plays a zombie called R - who appears to be the only living-dead creature who has some sense of human emotion and love, who bonds with Julie [Theresa Palmer], despite being against eachother in the fierce battle between humans and the ex-humans.

Despite this rather [sickeningly] sweet premise, I found the movie to be slightly disappointing. Nicholas Hoult appeared to lack any sense of comic timing and discernible emotion within his long, dreary monologue at the start of the film, which is about as entertaining as chewing through a piece of cardboard. Unfortunately, other than John Malkovich [y'know... because he's JOHN MALKOVICH], the same can be said for most of the actors in the film. Despite some hints of writing promise, the talent doesn't particularly shine in this film, and most of the actors are quite forgettable.

Stick with the film, however, and after a while, you'll realise that the film is a zombie-echo of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet [if you didn't expect that after seeing "R" and "Julie", then you might want to just sit in silence and have a long, hard think about how you missed that], with many similar themes and occurrences between the two tales.

All in all, though, I suppose I wouldn't turn away from Warm Bodies if I was forced [or asked?] to watch it, but it won't be going on my "watch again" list.

5/10

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Book Review: The Drought - Steven Scaffardi

First off, I should probably start off by admitting that, in this case, the title "book review" is a misnomer. No, I haven't sunk so low as to ignore the old adage "don't judge a book by its cover," but I did [somewhat reluctantly] manage to struggle through the first chapter of this novel.

Having been a member of goodreads for quite a while, I am always happy to receive new recommendations on what books to add to my ever-creaking shelves next. While I usually stick to reading other people's reviews, I was met with an interesting proposition, when stand-up comedian and author [and I use those terms loosely] Steven Scaffardi, offered me the chance to download and read his latest lad-lit offering "The Drought" for completely free.

Of course, being a stingy student, and a keen fan of the lad-lit genre [which is basically chick-lit but for guys, if you couldn't guess], I would've been a fool to say no, especially to someone who had been compared to previous authors I have read, such as Matt Dunn and Mike Gayle. Before downloading any free material, however, I decided to read the first chapter of the book that appears free-to-view on Scaffardi's blog.



Long story short, The Drought is about Dan Hilles, a fallen Casanova whose charm has gone MIA, resulting in a long period of sexual inactivity. Throughout the novel, he calls upon several friends to ensure that he gets his mojo back and the magic happening. Well, he does if you can get that far into the book, anyway.

Despite being familiar with the genre, and not exactly loathing the premise, I could not be won over by Scaffardi's first chapter at all. The writing style, whilst not entirely off-putting, isn't conducive to humour at all, and simply makes the reader feel as if they're wading through treacle to get to a punchline. The punchlines themselves, once you've found them, really aren't that special anyway, resulting in a mild 'heh', rather than the big, belly, Brian Blessed-esque laughs that can be generated from most other books in the genre. [But, of course, humour is subjective, so others may take to Steven Scaffardi's jokes like a duck to water.]

Dan Hilles is portrayed as a clumsy, yet well meaning person when it comes to love. In many ways, he could be The Big Bang Theory's Howard Wolowitz crossed with Mr Bean. Unfortunately, however, he has the humour of a funeral on a wet Wednesday. His mishaps don't, unfortunately, cause the reader to feel any sympathy for him, as he comes across as a bit of a sex-crazed douchebag [for lack of a better phrase].

At the end of the day, The Drought is exactly that: dry, boring, and seemingly never-ending. From the first, utterly mind-numbing sentence [which stirs up about as much intrigue as finding a twig in a heavily wooded area], the tale [or at least the first chapter] is a work that made me internally scream: "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE. IS THIS FINISHED YET!?"
A fellow reviewer remarked that the book made her cry - I can assure you that you won't be bawling tears of joy at this novel.

RATING: 2/10 - [First chapter only. I might read the rest of it when I have a death wish.]

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TechTalk: Exploring the social networking undergrowth

If you’re a keen follower of this blog (which I somehow doubt), you’ll know that it’s my (frankly, rather pathetic) attempt to cobble all of the things that I’m passionate about into one place, whilst earning a few pennies on the side (yup, those ads, unfortunately, aren’t decorative). Recently, though, you’ll have noticed that I’ve put several joules of energy into writing about social networks, be it Myspace, or Facebook. While one’s dead, and the other’s continuously adapting to make sure it survives against a challenge from Google+ or Twitter, it got me thinking: are there any more social networking sites out there?

Of course there are. To use a metaphor: just because Coca Cola and Pepsi are market leaders in the cola or (at the risk of sounding terribly unfashionable) “fizzy pop” it doesn’t mean that a person can’t choose to drink one of the smaller brands. Of course, there’s Tesco cola, Sainsbury’s Cola, and (if you truly want to slum it and risk several forms of infection) Lidl Cola. In the same light, there are some social networking minnows out there, some with some truly fantastic ideas, and others which, unfortunately, will probably cause the same effect as the Lidl Cola- but mentally, of course. Here, then, is my guide to three social networks that you might just’ve missed out on…

1. MyYearbook.com

We all remember Myspace, and we’re all familiar users of Facebook and Twitter. However, what would you think of if I asked you to picture a social network that looked to be the baby bastardisation of all of them?

MyYearbook looks pretty damn close to that image. It seems to have combined the “like”, “comments”, and overall blue-tinged colour scheme from Facebook, and the character limit from Twitter (which actually is rather infuriating on this site). This particular site, though, unfortunately, bears an overwhelming resemblance to Myspace. The “myspace whores” have returned, and they’ve struck this site with a vengeance. While I’m sure that most of the people on the site mean well, many of them struggle to type simple sentences correctly, and it’s jam-packed full of annoying guys asking lewd, rude, and downright nasty questions to girls who, it seems, can’t figure out how to put their ample cleavage away. Add to that the plethora of dating games, and an incredibly bad user experience and you’ve got yourself a truly shocking result.

If you’re into blurry pictures of girls in bikinis and can be bothered to learn a whole new version of chatspeak (where, it seems, users have attempted to type words with their foreheads and knees simultaneously), then this could just be a hit with you. I wouldn’t bet on it, though.

2. Yuwie.com

Unfortunately, at the time of writing, Yuwie has been put up for sale. Going to the site will only, unfortunately, show you the site’s logo, and tell you that the asking price is $15,000. So, then, it’s up to me to give you the premise of the site.

Yuwie seemed to be too good to be true, when I had first heard of it about four to five years ago. Basically it was a site that (and you can re-read this slowly, if it doesn’t click the first time) PAID people to social network. I, obviously, being a sucker for a quid or two (may I remind you again of the ads?), joined up.

The site itself was, unfortunately, miserable. While the user experience wasn’t that bad, the place was deserted. I had convinced a (now ex-) girlfriend to sign up so we could raise a bit of dough together, and other than each other, it seemed like the place was emptier than the inside of Jodie Marsh’s brain. Of course, while getting paid to talk to people was a very attractive proposition, the fact that it was based on ad-revenue probably caused several would-be users to return to the book o’ face. And I don’t blame them- I checked my earnings from the site last year, and I had made barely a penny.

I’d be lying if I said that I missed the site and its red colour scheme, but being paid to network is still a rather attractive proposition, not just to me- but also many others. So watch this space and see if Yuwie ever returns.

3. Dailystrength.org

I can’t help but feel that, at this stage, I’ve been overly negative in my reviews of these plutoed social networks. So here, then is my good deed and positive part of this post, and it comes in the form of dailystrength. I was debating about putting this in because I wasn’t sure about whether it was classed as a forum or a social network. It is, in essence, a site where people can receive crowdsourced help for their problems, whether they’re psychological or physiological, via online support groups. Think of it as a Yahoo!Answers site for almost every ailment you could think of.

The people seem to be incredibly supportive and keen to help, and if you’re in need of some support from experienced people, this is probably one of the best places to go on the internet.

Obviously, these sites will probably never threaten the dominance of the “big three” of social networking. But if you’re looking for a bit of a change, and don’t mind learning new interfaces and enjoying (or, indeed suffering) the company of new people, these could just provide some boredom killers for your time on the internet.

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Inbox Nasties

Aaah, don’t you remember the good old days? Back when spam filters actually seemed to work, and the only weird emails you’d get were from your long lost Nigerian businessman friend who conveniently chose this time to waltz back into your life so you could transfer him some money, even though he’d obviously pay you back? Or from those pesky people who seemed hell-bent on telling you how to give your girlfriend that bit of extra pleasure, and explaining how you could gain an extra three inches in a week? Well, unfortunately, those rose-tinted and legendary days have now come to an end. Mr Okuma and The Cialis Corporation have since ceased to email me, and I suddenly feel like the ex-boyfriend figure, yelling “Baby, please, come back! I didn’t mean to ignore you!”

“Why,” you ask? Well, there’s a whole new set of meanies that may just be nestling in your inbox right now.

Around seven times a day, I get an email from Scott Brian. If the name wasn’t suspicious enough [my mum always told me that anyone who had two first-names was a greedy little git!], the subject headings are fishier than the tuna salad you ate last week. Apparently, I, an 18 year old university student, hailing from the North West of London, can earn at least 6,000 pounds a DAY just from working in the comfort of my own home! And apparently I’m not the only one, John Carter, a stay at home dad from somewhere in Missouri has done it too, and is now absolutely raking it in! Isn’t that fantastic!?

Not really. Although I’m absolutely ecstatic for Mr Carter [if, indeed, he exists at all], I don’t really want to make a million pounds just by sitting in my room and ‘following a magic strategy’.

But that’s not the only one. There seems to be a whole new generation of spammers out there. As far as I can see, they love absurdist language and abstract comedy. Not only do they send you emails packed so tightly with viruses that it seems that it’s inhumane, but they send you meaningless drivel like “of Them it is YOU I think of Mum said Teapot Happiness.” And if you’re thinking of doing a double-take to try and actually make sense of that sentence… just… don’t bother.

One spammer, though, did catch my eye and almost made me fall in love in an instant. There was creativity, geek appeal, and a certain amount of panache in the email, and it was only made better by the phrase “JESUS TO STAR IN NEW BATMAN MOVIE. CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS.”

Obviously, the link was full of viruses. But the thought of Jesus playing Batman!? That, my friends, was completely worth it.

But the moral of this story is to always keep your antivirus fully updated and running, keep your computer patched and updated, and the number one rule of life: if it looks suspicious, it probably is.

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Blasphemy Laws!? Christ on a bike!

Last Friday, as we all know, beckoned in the new year for us all. A new year, a new decade- but more importantly, in Ireland- a new law.
Of course, laws are made all the time, and a government can never please everyone. However, this law has caused substantial unrest, and I for one, feel that opposition is justified.
It has now been made illegal to blaspheme in Ireland. Illegal to the tone of a €23,562 fine, in fact.
As a fan of comedy, it's impossible to not see the irony in this case. If I'm frank, even someone with the sense of humour of a boiled gnat would see the funny side of this. Atheist Ireland, who (rightfully, in my opinion) challenged the law, decided to publish 25 quotes, that would contravene the new law. One of the quotes was from that oh-so-racially-intolerant, god-hating SWINE...


... Jesus Christ. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently Jesus Christ (who may or may not have featured a tiny bit in the bible- I forget), was a blasphemous figure. Surely, the Irish Government must have realised that SOMETHING was going wrong when they (potentially) had to arrest someone for a BLASPHEMY law for quoting JESUS.

Obviously, though, the largest ironic part of this, is the fact that the Irish government wants to control what the public say, when their own MP's have recently become internationally infamous for using "unparliamentary language" while parliament's in session.

Blasphemy laws? To hell with 'em!

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Popcorn Post: The Ugly Truth? More Like An Ugly Movie.

So here we are. This years' "Men are from mars; women are from venus"- type movie is upon us. The setting for this film is the among wonderful glitz and glamour of the American TV Scene.

The male, sex-crazy, chauvinist character in this movie is played by the ever-increasingly-irksome Gerard Butler. Named Mike Chadway, he "anchors" [or to put it more accurately, just rabbits forever through what looks like a £4.99 digital camera from Argos] a show called "The Ugly Truth" on a small network channel.
TV Producer Abby Richter [Katherine Heigl] has a morning show that's struggling; and her bosses have threatened to axe the show because of its boring, watered down nature.

And hey presto [as if you didn't think this would happen], the sharp-talking chauvinist gets a slot on the morning show, against Richter's wishes, and the magic [or so it's meant to be] begins. Chadway proves an instant hit, but, sticking to her guns, our heroine doesn't have a word of it.

... Until Mike issues her an ultimatum.

Abby meets her new neighbour; a doctor named Colin [who first appears half naked in his first scene], who she takes a little more than a shining to. Mike [in his role as god of the male mind (and seeing as he thinks that all men think with their penises, it would be fair to think of him as the god of all c*cks)] makes a pact- if he gets her together with Colin, she has to respect him. But if he fails, he has to quit his job.

And as expected, it all goes to plan. Until the big switcharoo in the plot near the end...

As I may have previously mentioned in this review, Butler annoys me. In this movie, he tries to adopt an American accent to portray the TV presenter. Does he succeed? Not in the least. His accent isn't even the worst part- his portrayal of the chauvinist is completely horrible. With a character like this, a lot of humour is needed. The timing needs to be spot on, and the comedy needs to work, if the person isn't to be perceived as a complete and utter ar*e.
Props, though, to Katherine Heigl. She tries to cope as much as he can with Butler's 2D performance, and she lightens the movie up somewhat.

Craig Ferguson makes a cameo appearance in the movie. His scene is fraught with inaccuracy, unbelievability, and just general shoddy work [none of which is his fault, may I add]. But because this is a film review, and not a review comparing the REAL "Late Late Show" to staged versions of "The Late Late Shoe", I won't launch further into it.

To Summarise: The storyline sucks, the acting from the male lead is sickeningly horrible, the acting from the female lead tries [but fails] to prop the film up, and the film actually isn't that funny. To be quite honest, all there is eye-candy [Heigl's cleavage for the boys, and Butler's "rugged good looks" for the girls].
Not worth the celluloid it's printed on.

Rating: 4/10

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