Popcorn Post: *Insert "Watching The Watchmen" Pun Here*

N.B. I'm reviewing this movie from a point of view where I haven't read the graphic novel, or researched many of the characters or any of the plot beforehand. So this may sound noob-ish. You have been warned.

Nixon is in his third term in office. America has won the war in Vietnam. Cold War tensions between Russia and the United States escalate.
One false move and the world could go up in a pile of smoke. Cities burn, Children die, and nothing remains.

But who can stop it all? Who will save the world? Is there anyone out there?

And this, my dear friends, is where the Watchmen step in. The heroes of this tale are masked avengers, with extra-ordinary powers, fighting abilities, and gadgets, designed to stop the slumming of society.
But who watches the watchmen? One by one, they drop like flys, past and present vigilantes being slaughtered by a killer on the run.

The remaining Watchmen, Rorschach [Played by Jackie Earle Haley, who plays the part very well; and revels in the role of the dark-humourist of the movie], Dr Manhattan [Billy Crudup; who reminds me of a cross between Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory and The Crazy Frog (who is also blue, and exposes his gigglestick at every possible occasion )], Dan Dreiberg/Nite Owl [who reminds me of a Patrick Stump sort of figure (yes, he's a bit of a nerd; but at heart he's the coolest thing on earth)], and The Silk Spectre [The hottie of the film. mmmm-mmm.], all convene to overcome the evil- which turns out to come from a source a little closer to home than they think.

All the actors portray their characters brilliantly; all of them having good moments of dark-humour, and all portraying brilliant physical skills. A big part of this movie, which stems from all the subtext BEHIND the characters, is the allegory. The inner thoughs behind them that are not just the usual "I'm a character who's oh-so-conflicted", but actually make the viewer think; in almost a sympathetic and reminiscent way.

The movie has a good tone as a whole. The drama is gripping, the characters engaging, and yes, there is sex. The scene in question is slightly surreal. In the bad way. A friend had told me that there was a scene of a sexual nature set to "Hallelujah". In my head, I had imagined a tasteful, slow-mo, black-and-white scene, set to Rufus Wainwright's rendition of the ever-present [or so it seems nowadays] song.
The real thing could not have been more different. All it really was, was two of the characters having a good old bonk to [wait for this, you'll pee yourself] LEONARD COHEN'S VERSION of the song. Yes, I'll admit, it made me giggle like a five-year-old school boy.

Obviously, with the emotional turmoil in the film, there IS some violence. Just moderate stuff. Like chopping off peoples arms and stabbing into people's head with circular saws. Just the average stuff.

If you know me, you'd know that I avoided the film for a while for various reasons (the main one being that a band that I have a love-hate relationship with was said to have a major part in the film), but I was wrong to do so. This is a masterpiece of a film. The special effects are incredible, the plot is thrilling, and each of the characters manages to suspend the disbelief PERFECTLY. This has the potential to be one of the best movies I've seen...

Rating: 8/10

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Popcorn Post: The Ugly Truth? More Like An Ugly Movie.

So here we are. This years' "Men are from mars; women are from venus"- type movie is upon us. The setting for this film is the among wonderful glitz and glamour of the American TV Scene.

The male, sex-crazy, chauvinist character in this movie is played by the ever-increasingly-irksome Gerard Butler. Named Mike Chadway, he "anchors" [or to put it more accurately, just rabbits forever through what looks like a £4.99 digital camera from Argos] a show called "The Ugly Truth" on a small network channel.
TV Producer Abby Richter [Katherine Heigl] has a morning show that's struggling; and her bosses have threatened to axe the show because of its boring, watered down nature.

And hey presto [as if you didn't think this would happen], the sharp-talking chauvinist gets a slot on the morning show, against Richter's wishes, and the magic [or so it's meant to be] begins. Chadway proves an instant hit, but, sticking to her guns, our heroine doesn't have a word of it.

... Until Mike issues her an ultimatum.

Abby meets her new neighbour; a doctor named Colin [who first appears half naked in his first scene], who she takes a little more than a shining to. Mike [in his role as god of the male mind (and seeing as he thinks that all men think with their penises, it would be fair to think of him as the god of all c*cks)] makes a pact- if he gets her together with Colin, she has to respect him. But if he fails, he has to quit his job.

And as expected, it all goes to plan. Until the big switcharoo in the plot near the end...

As I may have previously mentioned in this review, Butler annoys me. In this movie, he tries to adopt an American accent to portray the TV presenter. Does he succeed? Not in the least. His accent isn't even the worst part- his portrayal of the chauvinist is completely horrible. With a character like this, a lot of humour is needed. The timing needs to be spot on, and the comedy needs to work, if the person isn't to be perceived as a complete and utter ar*e.
Props, though, to Katherine Heigl. She tries to cope as much as he can with Butler's 2D performance, and she lightens the movie up somewhat.

Craig Ferguson makes a cameo appearance in the movie. His scene is fraught with inaccuracy, unbelievability, and just general shoddy work [none of which is his fault, may I add]. But because this is a film review, and not a review comparing the REAL "Late Late Show" to staged versions of "The Late Late Shoe", I won't launch further into it.

To Summarise: The storyline sucks, the acting from the male lead is sickeningly horrible, the acting from the female lead tries [but fails] to prop the film up, and the film actually isn't that funny. To be quite honest, all there is eye-candy [Heigl's cleavage for the boys, and Butler's "rugged good looks" for the girls].
Not worth the celluloid it's printed on.

Rating: 4/10

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Popcorn Post: The Simpsons Movie. D'OH!

Ten years of expectation; six years of preparation; all for 87 minutes of diabolical, yellow-skinned celluloid. Yes! That's right! “The Simpsons Movie” has hit our screens with a resounding “D'OH!”
Now - I know what all my budding film critics will say - “We knew it would happen, blah blah blah, TV shows never really successfully make it to the big screen, yahta yahta yahta, what did you expect?” But you surely would expect this to be different! This is “The Simpsons”! It's not just a TV show! It's cult status! Nearly every person on this planet has some sort of memory of our yellow-skinned mates!
And THAT is where our problem lies! The plot line is exactly the same to that as a thirty-minute episode! It all starts when the family cause a big “eco-catastrophe”, and President Schwarzenegger randomly chooses to encase the town of Springfield in a glass dome, for it to be destroyed [because that really is the only way to make people go “green”]. Just like recent “Simpsons” episodes on the small screen, the plot takes a while to kick in; revealing that “The Simpsons” writers have run out of good side-plot lines, and quick and funny jibes.
The strong point of the movie, however, is the characterization. President Schwarzenegger [Harry Shearer] is an excellent character; a doppelgänger of the current, real life U.S. President, who provides just as much humour: “Aiii get payed to leeeeaaad, naht to reeeaaaad!”
Homer J Simpson, is his lazy self, poking fun at other objects around him. At one point in the the film, he sings: “Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever, a spiderpig does.” Green Day fans will be pleased to know that the band make a cameo appearance in the opening scenes of the film. Haters will be just as thrilled to see them sinking into a lake.
So, to sum up: “The Simpsons Movie” leaves a lot to be desired. Most, if not all, of the jokes are unfunny, the plot is as dry as a digestive biscuit under a hairdryer, and the only thing holding the movie up is the character line-up. Once again, a TV show has tried to make it to Hollywood, but has only found the Hollywood Café round the corner. I'd rather eat my shorts than recommend this movie to anyone.
Rating: 5/10

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