Product Review: JML Point'n'Paint

There's one part of painting that particularly resounds with me, and that's "pain". When it comes to decorating a room, I can turn absolutely anything into a Picasso-esque abstract masterpiece.

This summer, feeling rather boisterous, and harbouring a massive burst of unspent creativity, I decided to paint my bedroom. Viewers of my YouTube videos will know that, for the past half-a-decade [at least], my room has been a garish green colour [or, as Dulux called it, "Fruit Fool 2."]

This time, however, I've decided to go the extra mile, and I've resorted to covering my walls in an overbearing blue [or, as Wilkinson call it: "Electric Blue".]

Since my paintbrushes and I are not on speaking terms since our last petty squable [painting the living room white a few years ago], I decided to invest in the item you see above -  the JML Point'n'Paint. According to the wondrous video that's played above these products in stores, you don't need to tape around any fixtures and fittings on your walls, and you can paint an entire room in less than an hour. These claims, however, are probably geared towards people who have an iota of common sense and artistic talent. But how would they fare with your common-ore urban idiot [i.e. me]?
[Find out after the very small jump!]
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JML are usually renowned as a company that hold true to their claims, and make devices and products that actually help consumers out in their own homes. But with the Point'n'Paint, they may have overstretched themselves.

Firstly, while the thought of painting an entire room in less than an hour sounds fantastic, you may want to hold your horses. At best, even while listening to a bunch of uptempo, modern dance songs, you'll probably find that you'll do one wall in about an hour. I'm not sure if the JML marketing department lost the memo on this one, but to be classed as a 'room', something ideally needs to have four walls. That means that, most likely, you'll be spending at least four hours on a room. While that doesn't sound too bad, I'll draw your attention to two of the words in that sentence: "at least". I say "at least" because the Point'n'Paint does not spread the paint evenly across your wall. What tends to happen is that you end up with a massive splodge of paint where you start your stroke, and a massive splodge where you end it, with the bit in between making you wonder which universe all your paint has somehow magically teleported to.

Because of this lack of coverage, not only will you need to add a second and sometimes third coat, but by the time you get to your second coat, you'll be in for a nasty surprise.

JML's products usually have great build quality, but the pads that apply the paint to your walls, however, seem to made out of dandelion clocks, and held together with sweat and spit from the factory floor. After just about holding on for one coat of paint, they lose all friction, tear off the bottom of the pad, and fall to the floor [which, in my case, made it look like a ghost of a Smurf/Na'vi crossbreed].

Of course, this is a fantastic thing for JML, as you need to repeatedly run back to the shops and buy yet another set of pads to paint with. If you listen carefully as it thunks into your basket or trolley, you can hear a cash-register chime and a CEO cackle, somewhere in the direction of JML's head office.

In short, while the JML Point'n'Paint is a good idea for novices like me, it simply does not do the job very well, thanks to its shoddy build quality, and its lack of ability to spread paint properly. Unfortunately, then, it looks like I will have to cancel my application to re-decorate the roof of the Sistine Chapel. It also looks like painting, if you excuse the 'gangsta' turn of phrase, will remain exactly that: "pain ting."

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