TechTalk: Back to the BlackBerry - BlackBerry Priv First Impressions

I used to be a BlackBerry fan, but I'm ashamed to say that I jumped ship on them just before the rest of the world did. Despite using three of their devices in a row, Google's Android held a lot of my OS envy, and in 2011, I purchased the absolutely awesome Xiaomi Mi 2. Despite holding up incredibly well to three years of stress, daily use and damn near torture from me, it's beginning to slow down somewhat. In the spirit of keeping up with the latest tech trends, and under the influence of nostalgia, its replacement will be the BlackBerry Priv!

The BlackBerry Priv is refreshing for two reasons - firstly, it is a candybar phone with a slide-out keyboard [perfect for an oaf like me, who hasn't yet fully managed to become an expert user of touch-screen keyboards], and secondly, it's BlackBerry's first phone to run Android. Blackberry's clear wish with this device is to offer the versatility, functionality, and popularity of Android, combined with the legendary level of security that the Candian phonemakers were infamous [or famous?] for in the past.

First Impressions

The device is very well packaged, as pretty much all phones are these days. It was a surprise to me that the box didn't say BlackBerry in bigger writing towards the top of it, and chose to stick with just the device model and its tagline.
Upon opening the box, I was struck by the size of the phone. Coming from what felt like a 4.3 inch-displayed minnow, the 5.4 inch Priv looked gargantuan, and it's clear that, while this screen will be an utter joy to view things on, one-handed usage of the device will most likely be an issue. The screen is also beautifully curved, almost akin to the Samsung Galaxy Edge. The glass itself is Corning Gorilla Glass 4, and has survived a few days in my pocket with my keys.



On the right hand side of the device are three silver buttons that aren't overly-tactile, but stick out from the body of the phone just enough to be felt without too much probing. These are the volume buttons and a quick-mute button.

The left side of the phone features the lock-button.

The top of the phone features the SIM card and MicroSD [yes! That's right! Expandable storage!] slots, which both require the use of a SIM tool to be opened. The phone also utilises a nano-SIM, so those of you [like me] using the dinosaur that is a full-sized SIM will need to have a pair of scissors handy. A noise-cancelling microphone also lives here.

The bottom of the phone includes the 3.5mm headphone jack and a place to connect a Micro-USB cable, either for charging or for USB-MHL purposes. The BlackBerry Priv does support quick-charging, but a suitable cable for this is not provided with the device.

The back of the device contains the 18 megapixel Schneider-Kreuznach camera and dual LED flash. On first use [and before updating the camera app], the camera seemed absolutely painfully slow. In a world where most phones are happy to capture a snap in a fraction of a second, the Priv's apparent reluctance to take a quick photo does grate on the nerves a tad, but has improved since the update!

The speaker grille is on the front of the device - no stereo sound here, folks! Above this is a small metallic ridge. Push this up, and hey presto! You now have a phone with a physical keyboard.

Hang on... this all feels very... familiar...

For some, this may be a veyr strong reminder of BlackBerry's last foray into creating a device with a slide out keyboard: the BlackBerry Torch 9800.
As a former owner of the Torch, I surely hope that the Priv lives a longer and slightly better life. After just a few days, the Torch developed strange rattles, squeaks and general idiosyncracies, and in just over a year it died a very quick death. Here's to hoping that the Priv, which is clearly priced and created to be a 'premium' device, is much more reliable.

Running The Device In...

In recent years, BlackBerry have been a major partner of the Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 team, and much like a Formula One car, the Priv requires a bit of 'running in', and doesn't function completely perfectly out of the box. In the first few days [especially while you're setting everything up and making it the device you need it to be], battery life leaves a lot to be desired, and with the heat that the device emits, it also functions as a neat handwarmer, as the 64-bit, hexa-core, Snapdragon 808 processor fires up and finds its feet.

However, after the first couple of days ended, battery life looks like it's on the way up, and the phone only heats up with excessive screen-on time, or intensive use.



So, after a week with the phone, things look initially positive. Stay tuned to see my full review, when I've used the BlackBerry Priv as my daily driver for a few weeks!
In the mean time, the BlackBerry appears keen to prove that it can put the "smart" into smartphone:

I have had some doubts about the #BlackBerry #Priv, but credit where credit's due: It's definitely intelligent...! #smartphones #android #calculator #maths #maffs #slowclapA photo posted by @amruth92 on Dec 7, 2015 at 10:12am PST

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Review: Itsu 3 Minute Noodle Pot [Thai Spicy Flavour]

Even though I've recently finished university, I've found it hard to readjust to normal day-to-day life. By that, I mean that I still have this strange desire inside of me to consume Pot Noodles and other products of the same ilk.
Thankfully, though, I appeared to have found a product that will allow me to satisfy my craving for quick noodles, whilst also throwing away that "I'm a poor student" reputation that these products often come with.

     Itsu is a company that has a range of restaurant and shops in London specialising in sushi and salads, and even though I've never eaten at one of their establishments before, I figured that owning a few fancy restaurants would mean that their noodles would be top notch.

The broth tastes horrible. 

Going broth-less won't leave your breathless, either.

On the face of it, the noodles look rather nice. The packaging looks a bit more fancy than most of the 'run of the mill' noodle snacks on the market. Open the plastic lid, and you'll find a long and deep 'spork' [which, sadly, is about as useful as a chocolate ashtray]; cooked, soft noodles [which are a refreshing alternative to the dry noodle-clumps that most of these products provide]; a sachet of dried vegetables; and a sachet of 'heavenly broth paste'.

Sadly, however, that's where the beauty of the 3 Minute Noodle Pot ends. The broth that is provided appears to have gone a bit too heavy on the lemongrass and ginger, to the point where it goes past being exotic, and tastes like a cocktail of bleach, and alcohol hand-rub, with a hint of Dettol. Remove the God-awful broth from the pot, and sadly the noodles taste absolutely bland. The dried vegetables, which make the noodles look incredibly fancy, do absolutely nothing for the taste of the product - a sentiment that really sums up the Itsu 3 Minute Noodle Pot quite well. The only thing this noodle dish really has going for it is that it's a country mile ahead of the competition on aesthetics alone. But if you'd actually like something tasty to eat, and not just something pretty to waste time on and stare at, this product isn't for you.

Sadly, I won't be recommending this product to anyone. Other than buying another tub simply to hide some Pot Noodle in, I don't think I'll ever consider purchasing Itsu 3 Minute Noodles ever again.

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The Popcorn Post: A Few Short Reviews [Seeking A Friend for the End of the World; I Give it a Year; Warm Bodies]

Seeking A Friend for the End of the World

I found Seeking A Friend for the End of the World to be an incredibly charming movie, as one would expect of a flick featuring the talents of Steve Carrell and Kiera Knightley. The film was quite refreshing in that it didn't really spend too much time attempting to suspend the disbelief around the whole concept of the world ending, and carried on in a "look, you're either with this all the way, or you might as well just turn it off now" sort of way. It was also quite nice to have an end-of-the-world movie that doesn't concentrate on overly-muscular males attempting to subvert the universe's impending doom, while everyone else runs around disobeying laws left, right, and centre because the consequences won't matter. At the heart of it, this movie depicts what the everyman would do at the end of the world.

As the end of the world is quite a delicate matter, this movie isn't exactly a laugh-a-minute humourfest, but does well to be eloquently charming at just the right times, complimenting the down-to-earth nature of the movie as a whole.

In essence, if you like an alternative look at things, and you're a bit of a sucker for a sob-story, I recommend Seeking A Friend for the End of the World. Kiera Knightley and Steve Carrell work well together, even if some of the writing does let them down at points, but the film is rather beautiful nonetheless.

7/10

I Give it a Year

I Give It A Year is just one of many wedding-themed rom-coms to have been churned out recently. Unfortunately [and, again, following the trend set by several movies of late], the movie is about as hilarious as taking seven punches to the face from Mike Tyson.

Worryingly, trailers and promotional materials describe the film as being the funniest British movie to be released in a long while - and if this is the case, it might be time for every single active comedy writer in Britain to go home and sit with the lights off to think about the sheer misery that they're creating. This would hopefully include Stephen Merchant, who reaches a whole new level of unfunny "annoyingness" with his appearances in this flick. In fact, none of the cast members shine in the movie, and most seem to be thoroughly forgettable [that's if you ever knew them in the first place].

Unfortunately, the actors aren't helped at all by the writing, which fails to entertain, and could only be described as "funny" by someone who has lived under a rock for the past decade. The lack of humour is not made up for by any discernible plot, and five minutes into the movie, you'll probably be able to guess the ending - and the producers would have done everyone a favour by condensing the 1 hour and 47 minute waste of film into just a 5 minute short.

I Give It A Year? I wouldn't give it 10 seconds.

2/10

Warm Bodies

As a result of relentless advertisement on the television, I figured I'd watch Warm Bodies, which appeared to be a zombie rom-com with a heart. The film features Nicholas Hoult [who you might just recognise from his roles in About A Boy and Skins, despite the thick layers of zombie make-up], and Theresa Palmer.

Hoult plays a zombie called R - who appears to be the only living-dead creature who has some sense of human emotion and love, who bonds with Julie [Theresa Palmer], despite being against eachother in the fierce battle between humans and the ex-humans.

Despite this rather [sickeningly] sweet premise, I found the movie to be slightly disappointing. Nicholas Hoult appeared to lack any sense of comic timing and discernible emotion within his long, dreary monologue at the start of the film, which is about as entertaining as chewing through a piece of cardboard. Unfortunately, other than John Malkovich [y'know... because he's JOHN MALKOVICH], the same can be said for most of the actors in the film. Despite some hints of writing promise, the talent doesn't particularly shine in this film, and most of the actors are quite forgettable.

Stick with the film, however, and after a while, you'll realise that the film is a zombie-echo of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet [if you didn't expect that after seeing "R" and "Julie", then you might want to just sit in silence and have a long, hard think about how you missed that], with many similar themes and occurrences between the two tales.

All in all, though, I suppose I wouldn't turn away from Warm Bodies if I was forced [or asked?] to watch it, but it won't be going on my "watch again" list.

5/10

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TechTalk: Xiaomi M2/Mi2 Full Review

After unboxing my Xiaomi M2 a while ago, and after having a few weeks to play around with it and use it as my daily driver, I’m finally able to compile a review of this quad-core beast.

The outside /  device tour

Firstly, before I show you around the operating system and software on the phone, let's concentrate on the outside of the phone. It's the first thing you see when you open the box, and the thing that'll probably be the element that you attempt to attract your friends with.

Here's the front of the phone: it features a 4.3 inch IPS, 'retina' display. Just below it are capacitive touch buttons, used to perform the stock Android features: menu, back, and home. These touch buttons are covered with some sort of silver film [underneath the screen], so they're reflective in the light, but don't light up in the dark. If you're looking for a phone that you can use very well in the dark, this might not be it [though, if you've got a lock-screen like I have (which you'll see later), you'll be able to use it as a reference point as to where the buttons are]. Just underneath the home button is a small LED light which you can use to alert you of different notifications.

Just above the screen are the Xiaomi logo [on the left hand side], light and proximity sensors [next to the logo], the earpiece that you hear calls through [just next to and above the sensors], and the 2.1 megapixel front facing camera [on the right hand side].

Here's the right hand side of the phone:

Those two silver things are the power button [smaller sliver thing] and volume rocker [longer silver thing]. When the phone is off, pressing a combination of these can be used to boot the phone into recovery mode. When the phone is on, the power button can be used to either lock or power-off the phone, and the volume rocker can [obviously] be used to control the volume. Pressing power + volume down will also take a screenshot, which is a handy little feature. I first thought that the power button was in a great place, but if you put a cover on the phone, it becomes a bit difficult to find, so covers with cut-outs for the buttons are a must!

The top of the phone features a 3.5mm headphone jack, and nothing else [and I figured you didn't need a picture of a 3.5mm hole in a bit of plastic].

The left side of the phone has no buttons or particularly distinguishing features.

The bottom of the phone features a micro-usb socket [which can be used to charge the phone, used with an MHL cable to connect to an HD TV, used with a USB OTG cable to connect pen-drives and other removable storage, or used to connect the phone to the PC], a small mic [used when you're in a phone call], and a small lanyard hole [just in case you want to attach a wrist strap, or a neck strap. Though at 145 grams, you might want to just stick with it being in your pocket].

The back of the phone features a very shiny Xiaomi logo at the bottom of it, with the URL of Xiaomi's website underneath it [I'm not personally sure how I feel about a URL being on the product. I'm sure 'Xiaomi' would have been enough]. Near the top you can see the rear speaker grille [used when you divert calls to loudspeaker, or listen to music or the FM Radio out loud], the 8 mega-pixel rear-facing camera,  an LED flash, and a rear-facing mic in order to make the most of the phone's EarSmart technology [which cuts down on the amount of background noise heard during a call]. 

Now we've had a look round the outside of the phone, let's take the back cover off. Taking the cover off is quite a job in itself. Much like the Nokia phones of old, there's no fancy latch mechanism or ergonomic way of opening this device; the only thing you can do is attempt to get your nail in in the crack [whoah, innuendo city], and gently prise it open. I've decided to shoot a short video of me getting the back open. This is about the third or fourth time I've done it, and it gets easier every time, but you probably won't be able to do it with freshly-cut nails. Note that the volume and power buttons are built into the back case - this is a fantastic piece of design, and means that if you're having any trouble with them, you can just replace them by buying another case. 

[N.B. Ignore the product placement for a brand of masala tea in the background. It didn't taste that great.]

Once you get the back open, however, you can get access to the big, bright, orange, 2000mAh battery [just in case the phone completely freezes and you need a way of restarting it], and the SIM card [this phone takes the normal size of SIM, and not a micro-SIM].

Key dimension specs:

126 x 62 x 10.2mm [4.96 x 2.44 x 0.40 inches]

Overall:

Some videos tend to make the phone look rather cheap, and the plastic back doesn't tend to look very photogenic. Hold it in your hand, however, and the phone seems to be built very well. There are no rattles [as of yet], and everything seems to be very solidly and tightly packaged. The phone has a decent weight to it, and feels as it is of premium quality.

The software and operating system / how it functions

Boot up and smoothness

So that's most of the hardware and the 'outers' dealt with. Let's take a look at the software.

As I said in my unboxing post, this is definitely a complete beast of a phone, which can be put down to the quad-core CPU, and the incredibly smoothness of the MIUI operating system. Even flicking around the home-screens is a joy on this device - everything seems to flow incredibly well.

If you're a business user, you'll probably want a phone that starts up quickly, just so you can get straight back to checking your emails as soon as you've left your latest meeting and turned your phone back on. Here's a video of the bootup process and times that you'll be expecting, and a video of me flicking around the home-screens for the fun of it [have I mentioned how much of a joy that is!?]: 

Of course, boot is not instantaneous by any means, and there are other phones out there that could completely blitz this one in terms of boot time. But if you're coming from a relatively old BlackBerry curve, you'll be happy that you won't have to turn this phone on roughly a day before you actually need to use it [N.B. I've got nothing against BlackBerrys... I love them -  but the boot process was incredibly slow and frustrating. I am, however, excited for BlackBerry 10 - but that's another story for another day]. 

As a result of the power of the phone, it runs games like Dead Trigger, Riptide GP, Temple Run, and Zombie Highway without fault.

Apps and games - this phone runs them all without a hitch.

Screen

The screen is very light and bright. Colours pop and are extremely vivid, and text comes across as being incredibly sharp. The only issue with the screen, however, is the brightness. While the screen does look fantastic when the brightness is pushed up to the max, it is a serious drain on battery-life, especially if you're using it often. Switch on the auto-brightness feature to save a bit of battery, and the screen develops a slight flicker, and is quite slow to respond to high-light conditions, meaning that you can't really see much until it adjusts. 

MIUI features

The reading feature in action

MIUI [the tweaked and skinned version of Android that comes with this phone; and a ROM that can be installed an many other devices] is a fantastic operating system [have I mentioned how smooth it is and how much I love flicking through the home-screens? Oh... I have. Oh dear]. It comes with a multitude of cool features -  It features a fantastic call-recording feature, which I have already put to good use; it includes a handy 'reading' feature on the browser which makes long articles even easier to read, and the original Chinese ROM comes with a siri-esque voice assistant [though it only understands Mandarin or Cantonese - I'm not sure which]. The good news, for all the safety-conscious or scared-of-the-dark individuals out there, is that MIUI also comes with a built in LED torch, which can be triggered either by opening the app, or by holding down the home button on the lockscreen.

The place where MIUI comes into its own, though, is customisation. Through the theme-store, users can select different looks and feels for their device, allowing them to show off something new every day, should they wish to. Of course, if you're looking for a bit more of a 'stock Android' feel, you can, with a bit of technical know-how, flash stock Android Jellybean to this phone.

The Camera

The 8 megapixel rear-facing camera isn't a slouch, and creates very sharp images. The 'tap-to-focus' part of the camera interface works very well [and can even achieve some low-level 'depth-of-focus' effects if you use it right], though the camera itself can take a little while to focus, and tends not to give an accurate representation of the level of flash it will use when actually capturing a photo. Low light images, unfortunately, do generate a fair amount of noise, but not enough to stop you from seeing what you've captured. Being a modern smartphone, of course, if the camera's not doing exactly what you like, you can install a plethora of apps to make sure that you get the photos you want. Not that you'll need them, of course, with MIUI's massive amounts of customisable camera features, which include [but are not limited to]: a voice-activated shutter [so you can clap or whistle to take a photo and don't need to fumble around trying to find any particular button], an HDR feature, and tools to adjust facial recognition and ISO. By default the camera isn't set up to shoot in its highest quality, but turning these settings up does tend to slow down the time it takes to actually capture a photo once you've hit the shutter button.

Videos can be captured in 1080p and also seem to look very good indeed. The sound that is captured by the mic[s?], however, is a little weird and sounds like a webstream that's being presented in low quality, so if you're using the camera for anything 'professional', you may want to record audio with an external mic. There is the option to record in several modes [including, for instance, black and white or sepia] so you can reduce the time it takes to edit your clips afterwards.

Overall

Upsides

• A very fast, smooth interface, and most [if not all] apps run without a problem.
• MIUI has some pretty nifty features
• The customisation features of MIUI and Android mean that you can tailor this phone to your liking.
• An active community of developers mean that there are updates to MIUI every week
• The Xiaomi Mi2 is available in 16gb or 32gb capacities
• There are a wide range of accessories and back covers available.
• The ability to under- or over-clock the phone based on how much power or battery-life you wish to use.
• The removable battery and the removable back cover, in my mind, gives it a distinct advantage over the LG/Google Nexus 4.
• The FM radio. Simply because it's a cool feature to have, it's great to be entertained with on long journeys, and my dad would have been besotted with it.

Downsides

• Battery life - you could probably squeeze just about two days out of this phone's 1000 mAh battery if you've got the screen brightness on low, radios being used to a minimum, and only actively using it for around half an hour a day. Though, with a removable battery, you could always carry a spare around with you.
• No MicroSD - personally this isn't a biggie for me [especially since it has USB OTG capabilities], but some may rue the fact that the phone has no MicroSD card slot.
• No LTE - again, this is not a big deal for me, and this phone is still very fast on HSPA+, but some may wish to go even faster than that!
• No real international support - Xiaomi is a Chinese company and [at time of writing] only supplies China with its products. To that end, if you end up having any real technical difficulties with your device, you're going to have to either pray that you find someone who knows their way round these phones, or use the warranty scheme that your seller offered with the phone [if applicable, and if you're covered by the terms and conditions of it].
• Reliability - I, personally, have had no problems with my device, but others have reported yellow-ish screens, dead pixels, and problems with the WiFi chips.
• 
  

To sum up:

This is, once again, a beautiful but beastly phone. It's fast, but this can sometimes come at the expense of battery life, but for the price, you'd be a fool to miss out on this phone. After Xiaomi have had such success with this phone, one can only salivate at the prospect of the Xiaomi Mi3, which, all being well, should be announced at some point this year.

Acknowledgements

Thanks, again, to ibuygou for shipping out the phone and making the buying process easy! From what I've seen in my email inbox, they've been running a few deals on Xiaomi Mi2s, and you might be able to get one at a very low price!

Thanks also to MIUIAndroid for translating the MIUI ROM into flawless English, and allowing us all to make the most of Xiaomi and Miui!

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Three cardinal sins of the student kitchen

Recently, in an attempt to become even more of a skint-flint, perhaps even impress my peers, and maybe even seek out an alternative career path, I’ve attempted to spend more time in the kitchen. As a teenager who has grown up in the ‘microwave era’, I’ve been used to limiting my cuisine to several three-minute wonders, including those infamous Chicago Town pizzas, macaroni and cheese from Marks and Spencer, and some items from Iceland that I am still yet to identify, and can still feel clunking through my digestive system one year later. After getting sicker and sicker of the limited choices in the microwave aisles of several supermarkets, I decided to pluck up the courage, and pick up a frying pan. Of course, as many will say, practise makes perfect, and through my many attempts at dinner and lunch, though still being far from perfect, I have learnt quite a few kitchen clues and cues.

Sin one: Acting like you’re on the BBC

Come on, admit it- we’ve all done it at some point. Whether it’s in the style of Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey, or even the legend himself, Ainsley Harriot; you cannot deny that, at least once in your life, you have pretended to be the host of a cookery show, dancing around your kitchen. I must admit that I, too, have been partial to attempting some sultry Nigella-esque looks-to-camera, but I realised my mistake when I recorded myself and realised that I only looked as sexy as her father.
All in all, talking to yourself or a pretend audience, when making your din-dins, is a recipe for disaster- not only do you look like you may have a couple of disorders, but you take the risk of allowing your creation to slowly burn to the point of cremation within your oven, as you deliver a heartfelt monologue about how the recipe was handed to you by a relative on their deathbed.

Sin two: Loving experimentation more than a fat kid loves cake
Don’t get me wrong- experimenting and goofing around in the kitchen is always welcome, and can often result in some spectacular combinations and concoctions. It can’t be denied, however, that there are some things that are best left on the separate sides of the kitchen. I would recommend, for instance, that you strongly avoid trying to mix marmite and ice cream, and fight off the urge to become Britain’s Ben’n’Jerry; combining several wacky flavours that could easily end up putting someone in the intensive care unit of the local hospital.
If the thought of severely endangering someone’s life is not enough to stop you from such mad culinary experiments, I’d like to remind you that success is not a guarantee of a great reputation. For example: milk is a great ‘invention’, and is something that we use all day, every day. We would most likely be unable to hold our lives together without it. But the question does still remain: what was the man who first milked a cow actually trying to do!? While your kitchen adventures may not carry the same disgusting undertone as a bestiality attempt gone-wrong, they could still leave a bitter taste in the mouths of the eaters.

Sin three: It’s all beans
Baked beans have long been the staple cuisine of the red-faced student, and can often be spotted in the lower-left cupboard that occupies a vast amount of their habitat. However, while they may seem to be the only item that may serve as prey for the ravenous higher-education attendee, this is a massive mistake.
This final sin consists of a plea, and that is a plea for you to diversify your cooking, even though you’re probably scared of setting off all of the fire alarms in your student accommodation block, engulfing the building in flames, and burning food to the point of it being a carcinogenic crisp. Just a new ingredient here, and a new cooking method there will allow you to create some fabulous recipes, and you could even take the opportunity to create some dishes that you never thought you could ever make. The main lesson here is to have fun. Cooking’s not all about enjoying a nice meal- it’s about enjoying the experience, and learning skills that will turn you into great house-owners in the years to come.

Take these lessons with you, and you’ll be cookin’ on gas.

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Popcorn Post: The Simpsons Movie. D'OH!

Ten years of expectation; six years of preparation; all for 87 minutes of diabolical, yellow-skinned celluloid. Yes! That's right! “The Simpsons Movie” has hit our screens with a resounding “D'OH!”
Now - I know what all my budding film critics will say - “We knew it would happen, blah blah blah, TV shows never really successfully make it to the big screen, yahta yahta yahta, what did you expect?” But you surely would expect this to be different! This is “The Simpsons”! It's not just a TV show! It's cult status! Nearly every person on this planet has some sort of memory of our yellow-skinned mates!
And THAT is where our problem lies! The plot line is exactly the same to that as a thirty-minute episode! It all starts when the family cause a big “eco-catastrophe”, and President Schwarzenegger randomly chooses to encase the town of Springfield in a glass dome, for it to be destroyed [because that really is the only way to make people go “green”]. Just like recent “Simpsons” episodes on the small screen, the plot takes a while to kick in; revealing that “The Simpsons” writers have run out of good side-plot lines, and quick and funny jibes.
The strong point of the movie, however, is the characterization. President Schwarzenegger [Harry Shearer] is an excellent character; a doppelgänger of the current, real life U.S. President, who provides just as much humour: “Aiii get payed to leeeeaaad, naht to reeeaaaad!”
Homer J Simpson, is his lazy self, poking fun at other objects around him. At one point in the the film, he sings: “Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever, a spiderpig does.” Green Day fans will be pleased to know that the band make a cameo appearance in the opening scenes of the film. Haters will be just as thrilled to see them sinking into a lake.
So, to sum up: “The Simpsons Movie” leaves a lot to be desired. Most, if not all, of the jokes are unfunny, the plot is as dry as a digestive biscuit under a hairdryer, and the only thing holding the movie up is the character line-up. Once again, a TV show has tried to make it to Hollywood, but has only found the Hollywood Café round the corner. I'd rather eat my shorts than recommend this movie to anyone.
Rating: 5/10

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